Student Sets Out To Write Paper, Ends Up Breaking Masturbation Record
A man’s journey has turned into something completely different. John Smith, after setting out to write a paper, has ended up breaking the world’s masturbation record every, after doing it approximately 60 times.
We say “approximately” because he couldn’t properly count the latest attempts, as he was already feeling dizzy and bleeding through his penis. He is sure that “it’s above the previous record”, which is 56, broke in San Valentine’s day. He passed out and was taken to the hospital by a friend, where he might be in a coma for six months.
“I never imagined that being so forever alone would pay off some day”, claimed his friend. He isnisted: “He broke a world’s record. Not the best record to break, but a record never the less”.
The doctors affirm that they’ll be able to keep him alive, they just don’t know when he’ll wake up.
We’ll be waiting for him to wake up so we can write his paper… now we know what it’ll be about.